Man/friend/man-friend trouble...

How do you know when it's time to give up? How do you know how much of it is your perception and how much is the other person? How do you know you're not just being paranoid when you think the other person is trying to get rid of you? These are the questions I've been grappling with. Because part of me hates that cowardice that allows people to reject without having to appear unkind or hateful. Somehow, giving people the brush off non-verbally or by avoidance seems too easy and even more annoying. I just mentally go into Sam Kenison mode, mentally screaming "Say it! Just fucking say it!" I don't know how unfair this is to the other person - still grappling with that - but probably not anymore unfair than getting the brush-off after a year or so of friendship (or longer in some cases in the past). I don't know. I really am beginning to think I'm too generous with some people, but I don't know how to turn off my caring nature for some and not for all. Unfortunately, I'm a misanthropic caregiver. Plus, I see the worst and accept it, but I do expect people to cut me the same slack. Very rarely happens, folks! The world is lacking love, kindness and a generosity of spirit. That's why I always argue with people who say the internet is a bad thing because, if not for my friends here and over on yahoo groups, I don't think I'd be alive at this point. Anyhow, only two more doses of my antibiotics, thank god! I think they're making me a bit crazy. But, hey, it separates out the people who can hang from those who can't, even if that is painful.

TMR
Currently listening to Springtime Can Kill You whilst watching the visuals on her updated Windows media player. Is that a pathetic way to spend a Friday night?